Blind-Sided

This weekend my WH (wonderful husband), DD (darling daughter), and I went to go see the movie “The Blind Side” starring Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. I have always been a huge fan of Sandra Bullock. I think she is a great character actor and she makes me laugh. She also went to college at ECU and I have a friend who knew her at ECU so in a way, she and I are like really good friends, sort of, okay, not really, but I would be her BFF if she wanted me to.

Anyway…

Our household had been going back and forth for the past few weeks with all the sickness crude going around and DD was supposed to dance in the Christmas parade on Saturday but she had been complaining of a sore throat again so WH decided it would be better for her not to dance and for us to all do something together. I wanted to see “The Blind Side”. Watch a bit of it here.



I had heard it had great reviews and that the story was inspiring and amazing and it had my BFF Sandy staring in it, so off we went on Saturday to see the movie. (I’d like to say now that I still get blind-sided that a matinee for 3 people can still cost 20.00 for tickets and 20+ for one large popcorn, two drinks, and one candy! Good grief). We will be eating Mac and Cheese for the rest of the week, but it was so worth it.

First of all, thank you Blind Side director for allowing a Christian family to not have to be a bunch of weirdo, bible thumping, holier-than-thou, everyone else is going to hell and I am so much better then you hypocrites. I don’t blame people for not wanting to know about Christianity because often the way we are portrayed is not a true picture at all. In the movie, which is based on the true story of Michael Oher, Leigh Anne has a temper, she drinks a glass of wine, and she stands up for what she believes in, no matter what other people might think. There isn’t an overwhelming mention of God, or faith, but there is an undercurrent, an understanding and she wears a cross necklace (no that doesn’t make you a Christian, but I thought it was interesting that it was always there, no matter what she was wearing). I also found it very interesting when she went to where Michael was from to “confront the enemy” the camera was angled so that the viewer saw her cross necklace and then the necklace the bad guy was wearing, it was a machine gun. (check out the video at 1:43)

Everyone has a God; it might just have a different name.

“The Blind Side” is about protecting the quarterback’s blind side in football, but it is so much more. Leigh Anne and her family were blind-sided when they brought a young black man into their family. They were blind-sided by the difference it made in all of their lives, not just Michael’s. Michael was blind-sided by the opportunities that came his way, not only in the moment they took him in, but for the rest of his life.

Satan was blind-sided, which is the BEST part. Think about it. One woman followed God’s leading. One child was rescued from Satan’s clutches, and it could have stopped there and been amazing.

But then God was able to take what happened and inspire people all over the world. Satan isn’t the only one that can pull a sneak attack.

People are looking for more in life. For a richness and a depth. They are searching for ways to make an impact, to make a difference, to effect change in their lives and the lives of those around them. It is the overwhelming cry from a world gone crazy.  Everyone wants to know,

“Do I matter?”

God’s promise is that we matter more then we will ever know and/or understand. Living for God doesn’t mean that you can’t have a glass of wine, or say a curse word. It doesn’t mean that you become better then everyone else or that you do everything right.

But it does mean that God might just blind-side you, put on your heart to do the unexpected. Leigh Anne Tuohy did and see what happened? Watch out, because you might just get blind-sided.

Extreme Makeover part 2

I talked a little bit about God making over my life earlier this month (here).  My life needed an extreme makeover in the worst way. Isn’t that what God does when we ask Him to come into our lives? When we accept Jesus Christ as our savior and are born again, that’s when the old life is blown up, just like they do on the show, and the house (our hearts and souls) are gutted, cleared out and a new way made for God to come in and take up residence and make Himself at home.

For a long time, even though I had accepted Christ at the age of 7,  I was only letting Him rent my heart. I wasn’t allowing Him to take ownership over everything.  I wasn't sure how.  In reading Ephesians 6 Paul talks about what it looks like to put on the armor of God.  Armor?  "What do we need armor for?" you might ask, I know I did. 

Because simply put, we are at war.  Not a war of guns and tanks, but of good over evil, God over satan, and light over darkness.  I know who wins (I read the end of the book) but that doesn't mean that we all get out alive, there will be casualties and wounded and those that are lost.  But Paul talks about the armor that God equips us with in order to fight, to overcome, and win the battles of our day to day life.

The Armor of God

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  (Ephesians 6:10-12)

I had heard about the armor of God. Putting on that armor, and really didn’t “get it” but going to Renaissance fairs I was able to see real armor, how it worked and why is was so important.  The armor that we need for today though is not chainmail or leather. This week I am going to explore the different aspects of that armor, one piece at a time and figure out how it applies to my life and my walk with Christ. 

Most of us don't have an opportunity to see real armor at work on the battlefield, but one person most can remember is Wonder Woman.  I use to play Charlie's Angels and Wonder Woman with my cousin on Sundays at my grandmothers (love you Sharon!).  We all try to be Wonder Woman, mom, wife, boss,  employee, volunteer, leader, team member, friend, family, and so much more, no wonder we are all exhausted.

I am not Wonder Woman, but the God of the Universe and all His ways holds enormous wonder for me.  Wonder Woman was a fictional character but her creators understood armor, and having protection.  So does our Creator and unless we understand what our weapons and our armor is, how can we use it to protect and fight the enemy?   Come with me as we journey into Ephesians 6 and learn about the armor of God and how it can help us get through our battle of everyday life. 

Pressing on Toward the Goal

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

I am not perfect and the attempt at perfection is exhausting but I do “press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Accepting Christ into your heart and deciding to live for Him changes you. For some the changes are drastic and very apparent to those that are close to them, for others the changes are more subtle, a change of thought, a change of view, a change of heart but there is a constant transforming of the mind.

I had tried to lose weight for years, following one diet after another Optifast, OptiSlim, Weight Watchers, Slim-Fast, and some really bizarre diets as well, cabbage, grapefruit, good grief it ran the gamut. Some worked for a short time, I lost over 80 pounds on Weight Watchers, but I found it again and it came back with friends, and by January, 2007 I weighed 287 pounds. That’s two people in one. My legs hurt, my hips hurt, I was ashamed, humiliated, and I could not see me beyond the layers of fat the encased my body. I put on a good show about it, made people laugh because if they were laughing with me they weren’t laughing at me but inside I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally and so I underwent a drastic transformation. I went to a doctor and had gastric bypass surgery. I was scared but I was more afraid not to have it. I was only 36 and I wanted to grow old with my husband and see my daughter grow up and I wanted to live, really live, and for me it wasn’t possible hiding behind all the weight and I could not do it by myself. Satan tried to convince me that yet again I was a failure but that was a lie (he is the king of lies you know). I had to find a tool that worked for me and for me, surgery worked. The steps that I took to undergo the outward transformation were very much like the transformation that was taking place in my heart.  (This is me in a play, yes it's a wig, but the rest, that was all me.)

I found an expert in the field, my surgeon. I asked questions and became educated about what was going to happen and I researched. I meet with others that were either going to have the surgery or were further along on their journey for support and advice and encouragement. Once all the questions were answered it was time for the surgery and then my faith in my surgeon and his staff had to step in because when they put me on the operating room table I was no longer in control.

The surgeon performed the mechanical portion of the change in me. He made my stomach smaller so that my capacity for holding food was less and then he sewed me up and walked away. His job was over. He had made the structural change but the rest was up to me.

After leaving the hospital  I had instructions the surgeon gave me, but the decision was up to me. I had to exercise, but that was up to me. The surgeon had given me a tool so that my body could be transformed but if I didn’t follow the directions and use all the tools properly, I would not reap the benefits. I eventually reached my weight loss goal but I will continue to use the tools so that I can maintain my weight and not start inching back up the scales. Those pounds come on slowly and just a couple pounds turns into a few, then 10, then 20, etc.

My weight loss journey is a great parallel to what God has done in my life over the last 3 years as well.

A change had to be made and I needed an expert, so I went to God, my heavenly Father, who loves me more then anything. I researched and asked questions and found a church where I could get more information. I joined a connect group and a ministry team so that I would have people who were where I was on my walk and further along on their journey for advice. And over time I had to let go and just allow the surgeon of my soul to do His work in my life. He is cutting out the junk, cleaning out the garbage and the lies that have been killing my spirit and crippling my walk. Unlike my gastric bypass surgeon, my heavenly Father will not close me up and walk away, He will stay with me forever, but He will also be constantly working on me as well and sometimes it will hurt, and sometimes it is hard, but this internal transformation enables me to

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus”.

 My goal. My weight loss goal was 150 pounds and I have reached that. But my heavenly goal is to become more like Jesus. Will I ever reach it? No, I won’t, but I have an expert living in me, one who is helping me to move towards it every day but just like the surgery, I have to make the decision to use the tools He has given me, prayer, reading my bible, spending time with Him.  It is still my decision and one that I make every day.  This picture is my mom, me, and my daughter, all God's Masterpieces.

Thank You Father for being there when I called out.
Thank You Father for allowing your little one to come back home.
Thank You Father for listening to my fears and my frustrations and
Thank You Father for the transformation that You are performing in my life.
My trust and faith are in You God. Amen

Great Expectations

My WH and I had a great conversation a few nights ago.  We were talking about DD’s birthday, God, my upcoming surgery, God, our home, God, my speaking and ministry, God, do you see a theme here?

I posed the question to WH, “Do you think God is ever disappointed in us, like a father when his child doesn’t do as he wishes?”  And my WH, he truly is wonderful but I think the “W” could also stand for wise, stated,

“No, God doesn’t get disappointed because He already knows all that is going to happen, God has no expectations, therefore He cannot be disappointed.” 

To say that I was gobsmacked is an understatement.  (Don’t you love that word?).  How much of my life revolves around my expectations and meeting other’s expectations?

I have expectations of my husband, my daughter, my family, my God’s Girls (bible study group), my friends, my church leaders, my work, and even strangers that I meet.   When those expectations are not met, it sets up a series of events where disappointment, frustration, and anger can move in.   And how many times do these problems occur because the other parties were unaware of your expectations?  I cannot count the times I have gotten upset with WH because he didn’t do something that I expected but never thought to relay to him.  He loves me enough to be able to read my mind, right?  He should just know what I need…(yeah, doesn’t work friends, stop it and just ask for what you need/want, our husbands really appreciate that.)

But God…

God only requires one thing from each of us. 

ONE THING. 

For us to live our life every single day for His glory. 

Mark 12:28-30 (New International Version)

The Greatest Commandment

 ²⁸One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" ²⁹"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'^[b]

That’s it?   Yep, that’s it…Wow, think about all that encompasses though. 

And what about our expectations of God? 

1. Do you expect God to give you everything you want? 
2. Do you expect Him to make your life easy? 
3. Do you expect Him to pour His blessings down on you just because you say you believe in Him? 

And what happens when we do get sick, or we lose our job, or someone dies, or someone hurts our feelings, is that’s God’s fault because He didn’t met our expectations?  

I’m learning that my heavenly Father only wants me to have one expectation and it is truly a great one.  

That He will always love me.  No matter what came before or what is in the future because that is what He promises to each and every one of us.  NO MATTER WHAT.

I am to live every day for His glory and to accept every day that God loves me. 

Two very brief statements that require an entire lifestyle change, a thought process shift, and 100% trust. 

How does a life look that is living for His glory?  Look at how Jesus lived for understanding and the perfect example.

How do you accept that God loves you?  By finally opening the door in your heart that he has been knocking on.  You know that nudge that you have been feeling is not imagined or make-believe.  It is real, it is Him, and it’s time to stop looking at everything else and having great expectations of man to fill up that empty spot in your heart because only God can fill it. 

You accept it by saying,

Dear Jesus,

I realized that I’ve sinned and I need you. Please forgive me. Thank you for
dying on the cross and for rising from the dead. Come into my heart and save
me. Thank you for giving me eternal and abundant life. Help me to live for
you the rest of my life.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

If you have just prayed this prayer for the first time, let me know.  You can send me an email at Leigh at leighfrance dot com.   Also, tell someone you know personally: a Christian friend, co-worker, or neighbor. This will be as exciting for them as it is for you.

Grace

The word that is usually translated "grace" is in Greek charis (χαρις), which literally means "that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness".

Joy, pleasure delight, sweetness, charm and loveliness.

I don’t feel much joy right now. I am not getting a lot of pleasure as to where my life is in the moment. And I am finding it hard to take delight in the day to day. The grace that I have is depleted. I don’t want to be sweet, charming and lovely. I want to pout, get angry, and cry. Want to know why? OK, I’ll tell you.

Because life is hard.

I know, not a news flash, but when you are working so hard every day to make sure everything is okay, and then the world throws you a curve ball that makes it all go out of whack, it’s hard.

I know, I’m speaking in broad strokes when I need to narrow it down a bit.

The following has to do with three people in my life. My WH (wonderful husband), my DD (darling daughter), and me (me).

My DD’s 13th birthday is coming up very quickly. She had a wonderful idea to have a birthday party that would act as an outreach for a ministry that she feels very strongly about. Things were coming together and I was just in awe of all that God was doing in making this happen. And then… I found out I was to have surgery the Friday before her birthday. This is going to be quite an extensive surgery so we are unsure as to the recovery time. Everything for her had to be put on hold because of me. I feel awful. The doctors will not let me put it off, even for a month, so that I could celebrate the day of my daughter’s arrival on earth. I don’t remember a lot of my birthdays, but my 13th I do remember. It’s almost like a rite of passage, and I’m letting her down. I’m being honest, it’s very hard to find the joy, the pleasure or the delight in not being able to come through for your child. I realize that I should look at the blessings, that she is healthy, that I have a surgeon who is attentive enough to want me to be healthy, that God worked out the details so that I could get in…But… why now? I know His ways are not my ways, His plans are not my plans, but I hate letting her down but I just don’t know what to do. I have to find the grace, but right now it’s not in me.

My WH made a decision about something that I am having a hard time submitting to. I like to control things. I will admit that. My brother always said I was bossy, and yes I will claim that as well. But in my heart, I want, desire my WH to be the head of our home, to fall under his leadership and to submit to his authority because that’s how God says marriage is supposed to be and the marriages I see that are structured that way, they work. Now, I’m not going to say that that those marriages are perfect, because they are not, but whenever we do things God’s way, even in our imperfection God will work it out. God knows we can never be perfect, but He never wants us to stop trying.

So anyway WH made a decision about something that I don’t agree with and it’s taking EVERYTHING in me to not “just fix it”. This is not about his mistake, it’s about the internal struggle that I am having with submitting to my husband. To running headlong ahead of him and God and taking care of it myself…(how has that been working for me?)

So grace is needed. I need to give him grace. To be sweet, charming and lovely, but I don’t FEEL it. I feel hurt, angry, mad, and frustrated. But feelings can be changed can’t they? So my grace tank is empty. I look into the bank of my heart and find out I am overdrawn. I have no more grace so I cannot feel joyful, I cannot take pleasure and delight, and I cannot be sweet, charming and lovely.

I cannot do it by myself.

But God…….

Grace I cannot give to everyone else if I am not willing to accept it from my heavenly Father.


8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—Ephesians 2:8


This not from myself, or from my WH, or from my DD, or from my family or friends. But the gift of God. I have to focus on His Grace, accept His Grace, and replenish my bank from His supply. I have to look to Him to give me the joy, the pleasure and the delight in ALL things even when it’s hard.

I don’t know what DD birthday is going to be but God does.

I don’t know what my WH is going to do, but God does.

Nothing surprises Him so I go to His well this morning and drink deeply from the living waters His grace and today, tomorrow, and every day when it gets hard, I will go back and drink again, through reading His Word, through Prayer, and through Trust.

God I know that your grace is sufficient. We often say that without understanding what grace means. God I pray that when each of us is lost in our day to day life and feeling overwhelmed and undone, that we will come to you to renew our joy. We will come to you to find the pleasure and delight in our lives and in our circumstances. Lord I pray that we will each come to you to replenish the sweetness, charm and loveliness that gets depleted in our day to day lives. Help us each not to rely on those around us to fill up our wells because man will let us down, but to fall on our knees and reach to you for the gift of Grace that you have given each of us. In God’s name we pray. Amen.

Stained Glass

The past few days have been full of surprises and things that required my undivided attention and to be honest, once I was able to take care of the needs that were swirling around me, there just wasn’t anything else left to do but fall into bed, exhausted. So while I wrote to you in my head but it never made the transition to the blog.

I found out on Friday that I would be having surgery on October 9th. This has been a surprise. We knew that I was having some abdominal problems but were hoping that it would pass, heal, fix on it’s own, or could be treated with medication. Unfortunately the CT scan showed that there was a little bit more involved and I possibly have an internal hernia. This is not a good thing to have and so my wonderful surgeon will be going in on the 9th and fixing it. If all goes well I should be home that evening and back to 100% in a few days, well, maybe 99.9%, hopefully feeling a lot better, able to eat like I am supposed to, and not losing any more weight. (I never in a million years thought that I would say that).

I got an ah-ha moment last night. Don’t you love those? My daughter is going through the normal angst that all young ladies go through and we were talking about young men and whether or not “boys were stupid” and about first kisses and crushes and just love in general. I want so much for her to understand how valuable she is and not look for her value from someone of this world. She can ONLY find her value in God because He considers her priceless; but man and the world will try to change and influence and take away from what God considers His masterpiece. We are each a masterpiece, but unfortunately, many of us don’t realize that.

I know everyone has seen a stained glass. My ah-ha moment came last night when I realized that a stained glass is like my life now. When I was created I was as a piece of glass, solid and unbroken. But then, each sin, each hurt, each painful decision and even some of the good decisions that I made along the way took a shard of that glass. The people that came into my life and the people that left my life, all changed the glass in some way. Some things broke the glass, or shattered it (divorce, abuse, abortion, betrayal) and some things chipped it, (lies, cheating, stealing, etc.). Whether these were things that I did or were done to me, they left a crack or break in the glass.

Some of the pieces were colored with sadness, joy, anger, tears, changing the color and the pattern of the glass. To someone else, looking in, and even looking at it myself, all I could see was the destruction and the worthlessness of what I had become. We replace, throw away, or forget about the broken things in our life…or at least we try to forget....

But….

…God.

God wants to take those pieces, ALL of the pieces, and create a pattern that is made stronger by the fact that He is running through it. He can brighten the colors, give them character and life and when He sent his Son to die, Jesus' blood stains the glass of my life and wipes out all the wrong and then it is sealed, soldered together and makes a beautiful design.

But in the dark the beauty cannot be seen. It isn’t until the glass is filled with light, His Light, that it can be seen for the beauty that it is. No one comes through life with his or her glass intact. We are all broken, shattered, chipped and streaked. But…God wants the world to see the masterpiece He can create but you have to have a light. His light shining through your stained glass life. Do not see what has gone before as broken and beyond repair. Ask God to weave your brokenness into His masterpiece.

For we are God's masterpiece, He created us anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

God I pray for those that are reading these words. I ask that You show each person how fearfully and wonderfully they are made God. I ask that just as we give value to an object, how much more valuable are the living breathing souls that You lovingly created in Your own likeness? God I pray that each person will allow You to turn the shards of their life into a beautiful stained glass that Your light can shine through and give hope and peace to all it touches. Thank you my Father for loving me more then I could ever imagine and for making me one of Your masterpieces. Amen.