Pressing on Toward the Goal

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

I am not perfect and the attempt at perfection is exhausting but I do “press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Accepting Christ into your heart and deciding to live for Him changes you. For some the changes are drastic and very apparent to those that are close to them, for others the changes are more subtle, a change of thought, a change of view, a change of heart but there is a constant transforming of the mind.

I had tried to lose weight for years, following one diet after another Optifast, OptiSlim, Weight Watchers, Slim-Fast, and some really bizarre diets as well, cabbage, grapefruit, good grief it ran the gamut. Some worked for a short time, I lost over 80 pounds on Weight Watchers, but I found it again and it came back with friends, and by January, 2007 I weighed 287 pounds. That’s two people in one. My legs hurt, my hips hurt, I was ashamed, humiliated, and I could not see me beyond the layers of fat the encased my body. I put on a good show about it, made people laugh because if they were laughing with me they weren’t laughing at me but inside I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally and so I underwent a drastic transformation. I went to a doctor and had gastric bypass surgery. I was scared but I was more afraid not to have it. I was only 36 and I wanted to grow old with my husband and see my daughter grow up and I wanted to live, really live, and for me it wasn’t possible hiding behind all the weight and I could not do it by myself. Satan tried to convince me that yet again I was a failure but that was a lie (he is the king of lies you know). I had to find a tool that worked for me and for me, surgery worked. The steps that I took to undergo the outward transformation were very much like the transformation that was taking place in my heart.  (This is me in a play, yes it's a wig, but the rest, that was all me.)

I found an expert in the field, my surgeon. I asked questions and became educated about what was going to happen and I researched. I meet with others that were either going to have the surgery or were further along on their journey for support and advice and encouragement. Once all the questions were answered it was time for the surgery and then my faith in my surgeon and his staff had to step in because when they put me on the operating room table I was no longer in control.

The surgeon performed the mechanical portion of the change in me. He made my stomach smaller so that my capacity for holding food was less and then he sewed me up and walked away. His job was over. He had made the structural change but the rest was up to me.

After leaving the hospital  I had instructions the surgeon gave me, but the decision was up to me. I had to exercise, but that was up to me. The surgeon had given me a tool so that my body could be transformed but if I didn’t follow the directions and use all the tools properly, I would not reap the benefits. I eventually reached my weight loss goal but I will continue to use the tools so that I can maintain my weight and not start inching back up the scales. Those pounds come on slowly and just a couple pounds turns into a few, then 10, then 20, etc.

My weight loss journey is a great parallel to what God has done in my life over the last 3 years as well.

A change had to be made and I needed an expert, so I went to God, my heavenly Father, who loves me more then anything. I researched and asked questions and found a church where I could get more information. I joined a connect group and a ministry team so that I would have people who were where I was on my walk and further along on their journey for advice. And over time I had to let go and just allow the surgeon of my soul to do His work in my life. He is cutting out the junk, cleaning out the garbage and the lies that have been killing my spirit and crippling my walk. Unlike my gastric bypass surgeon, my heavenly Father will not close me up and walk away, He will stay with me forever, but He will also be constantly working on me as well and sometimes it will hurt, and sometimes it is hard, but this internal transformation enables me to

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus”.

 My goal. My weight loss goal was 150 pounds and I have reached that. But my heavenly goal is to become more like Jesus. Will I ever reach it? No, I won’t, but I have an expert living in me, one who is helping me to move towards it every day but just like the surgery, I have to make the decision to use the tools He has given me, prayer, reading my bible, spending time with Him.  It is still my decision and one that I make every day.  This picture is my mom, me, and my daughter, all God's Masterpieces.

Thank You Father for being there when I called out.
Thank You Father for allowing your little one to come back home.
Thank You Father for listening to my fears and my frustrations and
Thank You Father for the transformation that You are performing in my life.
My trust and faith are in You God. Amen

Extreme Makeover

Makeovers requires stepping out of what is known, comfortable, and safe, into the unknown, the uncomfortable and the possibly dangerous. It means stepping out of the boat like Peter did. Keeping our eyes on Jesus and knowing that what scripture says is true, and to own

“I am sure that God Who began the good work within you will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again!” (Phil. 1:6)

Every Christian is a work in progress. No matter if you were saved when you were 2 or when you were 82, we are all on a journey that requires us to stop living for ourselves and give everything over to the Lord God Almighty. God says:

“For I know the plans I have for you, they are plans for Good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”.  (Jeramiah 29:11)

Plans, blueprints. A way of seeing the big picture. He gives us the big picture right there, He tells us His plans, for a future and a hope.

Hope, otherwise known as Jesus, real hope. There were many years that I didn’t have hope, and I really didn’t care what God had “planned” for my life. I was perfectly content to mess it up over and over again completely on my own. I would flirt with my faith for a while, but whenever I started getting more then a little interested in God, something would happen, infidelity, divorce, illness, that would make me turn my back on God all over again, .

Can’t you just picture God standing with His arms crossed, shaking His head at my antics, much like I did when my daughter was small and wanted to “do it herself”. I would stand back while she took those first wobbly steps or rode her bike without training wheels, but I would be right there to catch her if she fell or wipe her tears when she got hurt. Now, that's how I picture my heavenly Father.  He knows I am going to fall, He knows I'm going to mess up, and over and over again He is there to catch me.  Whe are all growing, and God is always there to catch us when we fall, wipe our tears when it just gets too hard, and listen to us when we cry out. But God knows the plans He has for us. He can see the big picture, and He knew that the time was coming when all the things of my past would catch up with me and then He could start my makeover.

This new life under contruction is an ongoing process. He has given us all the tools we need, with His word, prayer, worship, and grace. With only God’s help I have learned how to forgive, not only others, but myself. Satan loves to keep us spinning on that cycle of guilt and feelings of shame for the sins that Jesus has already died for. My continuous run on the hamster wheel of guilt for something that God had already forgiven made it seem as if My sin was bigger then Jesus sacrifice. We have to refer back to our blueprints, His Word, for understanding, we have to stay on our knees in prayer for His still small voice, and we have to allow Him to rebuild and renew our hearts, our souls and our minds. Like the great architect that he is, His plans are always right.

This new construction will also give you house warming gifts as well, your spirutal gifts that are put in place so that You can further His kingdom. God has also given me something else, an understanding of the passion that has been such a part of my life. I always had great passion, but never a healthy focus for it. Now I understand God’s intent for that, because I am passionate about Him and about His word. You can not be sold out for Christ half-way, you have to be passionate about it. It’s like a 90% sale at Tiffany’s, I gotta tell everyone about it because it’s priceless and only happens once in a lifetime.

As He is rebuilding the walls and putting on a new roof, he’s using the materials that I already have. The struggles that I went through and the horrors that I faced and the mistakes that I made. The body is still here, but he is tearing down the walls of doubt and self-loathing by His Word and His never ending grace I know that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” and He was waiting for me all along to stop trying to follow my own plans but to “be still and know that He is God” and he’s taken over as the general contractor of my life.

By following His blueprints for your life, His word and His love and His power can shine through the darkness into someone elses broken down, condemend life. He can be invited in to shine His light, roll up His sleeves and get to work on their plans. God knows what the finished product will look like, join Him on the journey in your extreme makeover, God’s way.

PS.  I'll explain the pictures in the next post, just know that I'm in both of them.  Transformation.