Great Expectations

My WH and I had a great conversation a few nights ago.  We were talking about DD’s birthday, God, my upcoming surgery, God, our home, God, my speaking and ministry, God, do you see a theme here?

I posed the question to WH, “Do you think God is ever disappointed in us, like a father when his child doesn’t do as he wishes?”  And my WH, he truly is wonderful but I think the “W” could also stand for wise, stated,

“No, God doesn’t get disappointed because He already knows all that is going to happen, God has no expectations, therefore He cannot be disappointed.” 

To say that I was gobsmacked is an understatement.  (Don’t you love that word?).  How much of my life revolves around my expectations and meeting other’s expectations?

I have expectations of my husband, my daughter, my family, my God’s Girls (bible study group), my friends, my church leaders, my work, and even strangers that I meet.   When those expectations are not met, it sets up a series of events where disappointment, frustration, and anger can move in.   And how many times do these problems occur because the other parties were unaware of your expectations?  I cannot count the times I have gotten upset with WH because he didn’t do something that I expected but never thought to relay to him.  He loves me enough to be able to read my mind, right?  He should just know what I need…(yeah, doesn’t work friends, stop it and just ask for what you need/want, our husbands really appreciate that.)

But God…

God only requires one thing from each of us. 

ONE THING. 

For us to live our life every single day for His glory. 

Mark 12:28-30 (New International Version)

The Greatest Commandment

 ²⁸One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" ²⁹"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'^[b]

That’s it?   Yep, that’s it…Wow, think about all that encompasses though. 

And what about our expectations of God? 

1. Do you expect God to give you everything you want? 
2. Do you expect Him to make your life easy? 
3. Do you expect Him to pour His blessings down on you just because you say you believe in Him? 

And what happens when we do get sick, or we lose our job, or someone dies, or someone hurts our feelings, is that’s God’s fault because He didn’t met our expectations?  

I’m learning that my heavenly Father only wants me to have one expectation and it is truly a great one.  

That He will always love me.  No matter what came before or what is in the future because that is what He promises to each and every one of us.  NO MATTER WHAT.

I am to live every day for His glory and to accept every day that God loves me. 

Two very brief statements that require an entire lifestyle change, a thought process shift, and 100% trust. 

How does a life look that is living for His glory?  Look at how Jesus lived for understanding and the perfect example.

How do you accept that God loves you?  By finally opening the door in your heart that he has been knocking on.  You know that nudge that you have been feeling is not imagined or make-believe.  It is real, it is Him, and it’s time to stop looking at everything else and having great expectations of man to fill up that empty spot in your heart because only God can fill it. 

You accept it by saying,

Dear Jesus,

I realized that I’ve sinned and I need you. Please forgive me. Thank you for
dying on the cross and for rising from the dead. Come into my heart and save
me. Thank you for giving me eternal and abundant life. Help me to live for
you the rest of my life.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

If you have just prayed this prayer for the first time, let me know.  You can send me an email at Leigh at leighfrance dot com.   Also, tell someone you know personally: a Christian friend, co-worker, or neighbor. This will be as exciting for them as it is for you.

Grace

The word that is usually translated "grace" is in Greek charis (χαρις), which literally means "that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness".

Joy, pleasure delight, sweetness, charm and loveliness.

I don’t feel much joy right now. I am not getting a lot of pleasure as to where my life is in the moment. And I am finding it hard to take delight in the day to day. The grace that I have is depleted. I don’t want to be sweet, charming and lovely. I want to pout, get angry, and cry. Want to know why? OK, I’ll tell you.

Because life is hard.

I know, not a news flash, but when you are working so hard every day to make sure everything is okay, and then the world throws you a curve ball that makes it all go out of whack, it’s hard.

I know, I’m speaking in broad strokes when I need to narrow it down a bit.

The following has to do with three people in my life. My WH (wonderful husband), my DD (darling daughter), and me (me).

My DD’s 13th birthday is coming up very quickly. She had a wonderful idea to have a birthday party that would act as an outreach for a ministry that she feels very strongly about. Things were coming together and I was just in awe of all that God was doing in making this happen. And then… I found out I was to have surgery the Friday before her birthday. This is going to be quite an extensive surgery so we are unsure as to the recovery time. Everything for her had to be put on hold because of me. I feel awful. The doctors will not let me put it off, even for a month, so that I could celebrate the day of my daughter’s arrival on earth. I don’t remember a lot of my birthdays, but my 13th I do remember. It’s almost like a rite of passage, and I’m letting her down. I’m being honest, it’s very hard to find the joy, the pleasure or the delight in not being able to come through for your child. I realize that I should look at the blessings, that she is healthy, that I have a surgeon who is attentive enough to want me to be healthy, that God worked out the details so that I could get in…But… why now? I know His ways are not my ways, His plans are not my plans, but I hate letting her down but I just don’t know what to do. I have to find the grace, but right now it’s not in me.

My WH made a decision about something that I am having a hard time submitting to. I like to control things. I will admit that. My brother always said I was bossy, and yes I will claim that as well. But in my heart, I want, desire my WH to be the head of our home, to fall under his leadership and to submit to his authority because that’s how God says marriage is supposed to be and the marriages I see that are structured that way, they work. Now, I’m not going to say that that those marriages are perfect, because they are not, but whenever we do things God’s way, even in our imperfection God will work it out. God knows we can never be perfect, but He never wants us to stop trying.

So anyway WH made a decision about something that I don’t agree with and it’s taking EVERYTHING in me to not “just fix it”. This is not about his mistake, it’s about the internal struggle that I am having with submitting to my husband. To running headlong ahead of him and God and taking care of it myself…(how has that been working for me?)

So grace is needed. I need to give him grace. To be sweet, charming and lovely, but I don’t FEEL it. I feel hurt, angry, mad, and frustrated. But feelings can be changed can’t they? So my grace tank is empty. I look into the bank of my heart and find out I am overdrawn. I have no more grace so I cannot feel joyful, I cannot take pleasure and delight, and I cannot be sweet, charming and lovely.

I cannot do it by myself.

But God…….

Grace I cannot give to everyone else if I am not willing to accept it from my heavenly Father.


8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—Ephesians 2:8


This not from myself, or from my WH, or from my DD, or from my family or friends. But the gift of God. I have to focus on His Grace, accept His Grace, and replenish my bank from His supply. I have to look to Him to give me the joy, the pleasure and the delight in ALL things even when it’s hard.

I don’t know what DD birthday is going to be but God does.

I don’t know what my WH is going to do, but God does.

Nothing surprises Him so I go to His well this morning and drink deeply from the living waters His grace and today, tomorrow, and every day when it gets hard, I will go back and drink again, through reading His Word, through Prayer, and through Trust.

God I know that your grace is sufficient. We often say that without understanding what grace means. God I pray that when each of us is lost in our day to day life and feeling overwhelmed and undone, that we will come to you to renew our joy. We will come to you to find the pleasure and delight in our lives and in our circumstances. Lord I pray that we will each come to you to replenish the sweetness, charm and loveliness that gets depleted in our day to day lives. Help us each not to rely on those around us to fill up our wells because man will let us down, but to fall on our knees and reach to you for the gift of Grace that you have given each of us. In God’s name we pray. Amen.

Breathing in and breathing out...

My wonderful husband (WH) had an interesting night. He had a sleep over and someone hooked him up to a bunch of machines, in a strange bed, and expected him to just go to sleep. It was odd for both of us. For me because he wasn't home, he wasn't in bed with me, and I couldn't hear his breathing. The house felt hollow, empty, missing an integral part of what makes our house a home.

It was odd for him because he was hooked to a machine, in a strange place, with different noises, a different feel, and a different bed. But eventually he was able to sleep, and we discovered that indeed, he does have issues with his breathing when he sleeps. He doesn't do it right. LOL.

Have you thought about your breathing? When God created Adam,

7 the LORD God formed the man [a] from the dust of the ground
and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man
became a living being.

The breath of life. Our breath. It is essential, just like our heartbeat, the sunrise, or tomorrow, which we all take for granted. Until it breaks, until we have pain, until it's not there we do not even notice it.

Breathing impacts everything. You have to breathe and the way you do it is important. Taking short, shallow breaths will put strain on your heart and lungs; deplete the body of oxygen and doesn't rid the body of the toxins as effectively. This causes us to become tired, sluggish, unable to perform at our best, and could cause permanent damage to our heart and even death.

With my wonderful husband (WH) he had become frustrated because he was always tired, didn't feel up to doing anything, and when he would sleep he was not getting good sleep, his body did not have a chance to heal, to rest, and to recharge. But this morning, about 1:00, someone who knew how to fix this, to help him, walked into his room and gave him a tool that would force his body to accept the oxygen, force his lungs to open and enable his body to heal.

I talked with him at 5:30, and his voice sounded different, richer, and more . He said that the sleep that he did get from 1:00 until 5:00 seemed a lot deeper and that while he was somewhat tired it wasn’t the same as what he had been feeling. His body had a chance to rest, it was not struggling for what it needed, his body could relax and stop working so hard just to sustain itself and actually heal, renew, recharge. I am so excited about the difference this is going to make in our life.

But then it hit me. (Isn’t it cool how God does that?)

Breathing is to my body what Praying is to my soul. Look back up at the 4th and 5th paragraph, now replace breath with prayer. (Isn’t God cool???)

Praying impacts everything. We take God for granted until He is not there, or we stop communicating with him (praying). Check your breathing today. Are you taking deep, cleansing breaths or are you doing it wrong? Sit up straight, allow your chest to expand and think about your breathing.

Check your praying today. Are you doing it wrong? Take a deep breath and spend some time with God today. You breath without ceasing, how about making it a goal to pray without ceasing as well.

Your body will appreciate it and so will your heart if you do both, deep breath and deep prayers.