In the doghouse

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  (Matthew 6: 28-34)

I realized something this morning, I am much like the pagans mentioned in verse 32 “running after all these things” when my Heavenly Father knows that I need them.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. We have new carpet, which I am very thankful for, and we have a dog, which right now I am trying to be thankful for. The dog is still confused about where she needs to go potty and so she is sleeping in a crate at night. Let me rephrase that, she is sitting in and whining in a crate at night. She needs to learn control, boundaries, and that there is a place for everything, including where that all potty needs to be outside and not on the new carpet.

So she has been whining and crying all night. She doesn’t like her crate and I don’t understand why. It’s comfortable, it’s big enough, it’s warm and dry in the house, and we provide all of her needs, food, water, even a cute sweater if she gets cold (she doesn’t like to wear them), but it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t like where she is during the night, so she cries and whines to get out. And I don’t get any sleep.

So I got up at 3:45 a.m. for the final time and thought, I could spend some one on one time with my heavenly Father, just me and Him for an hour or two before I had to go to work.

And so I walked into the kitchen and then…

I needed to make tea so I put the kettle on, and then I went and got my laptop because I left my Bible out in the car, and then I couldn’t find my journal, so I had to log on to the computer, and I had to check my email, and then I went to check my Facebook, and then I had to check my bank balance, and then I got distracted with the news, and then…

And now it’s 5:30 and I have to be at work in 30 minutes. I got very little time with my Father this morning. I was worrying about what I would eat. I was worrying about what I would drink, and while I wasn’t thinking about what I would wear I was worried about money and would we have enough to cover the rest of the week.

I don’t want to be “like the pagans”. I don’t want to run after all the things of this world, but I do and then I wonder why my soul cries out in the dark just like our puppy in her crate. God wants me to go to Him first. He wants me to give Him the first fruits of everything, including my day and after all He has given me, why do I chose things that are of this world? I want to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, but the enemy doesn’t want that. Satan will use distractions and business and even good things to keep me from God’s best. I am hearing that over and over again so God really must want to make sure I hear it.

Trinket, our dog, has all of her needs provided for her. She has food and water, shelter, toys; all she has to do is be a dog. We have rules and boundaries that she needs to understand and follow but once she figures them out or maybe I should say, once I figure out how to help her understand and retain them, then we can have a healthy, enjoyable relationship. But right now, she cries and whines and she doesn’t like where she is. She just needs to be obedient and let me know (her master) when she needs something instead of making a mess and having to suffer the consequences. (No, I don’t beat her; don’t get all PETA on me.)

Yeah, wow moment for me too.

My Master wants me to come to Him first. I have to stop putting the world first and wondering why things aren’t working out like I want them to. The world doesn’t care about my wants and desires, or what is best for me because the world doesn’t love, therefore it has no capacity for care. God cares because God loves. It’s just that simple. When I allow all the other “stuff” to interrupt my God time it’s no wonder I have a mess and therefore suffer the consequences. I don’t have to run after anything. I just need to sit with Him and listen and stop whining and crying in the crate but come out and be obedient to my Master and His word and “not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself”.

I’m glad that God doesn’t sleep because I would have kept Him up all night whining and crying from my own crate. He has boundaries to keep us safe, to keep our lives clean and pure, and to help prevent us from making a mess. (Hmmm, sound familiar?) I just need to stop worrying and accept, embrace and learn so that He and I can have the relationship He wants for us to have, the best.

I guess I’ve redefined “being in the doghouse”.

God, I am sorry that I pushed you aside yet again this morning. Help me to be better disciplined with my time and my focus. Keep me from the temptation of the business of this world and all it’s emptiness and instead draw me closer to You because I know that you love me more than the lilies of the field, Your word tells us that and I thank you for loving me enough to give me the boundaries, the rules, and the instruction to keep my life safe and without worry. I love you God. Amen.

Be careful what you pray for, you might just get it.

Things have been pretty heavy and deep in the blog house lately. A lot going on and a lot of things on my heart. But I wanted to share something a little lighter but still amazing, at least it is in my opinion.

My pastor’s wife, Martha Fry, wrote a little while ago about “God cares about what we care about.” I thought it was a great post and having a daughter the same age I totally understood where she was coming from.

Well, I had an issue that dealt with my own sense of approval that I am frankly very embarrassed to admit.

We have a cute, cottage home, not large by any means, but over the past 8 years, two dogs, a cat, and a WH and DD, and just the multiple comings and going of life, plus a dog that is confused about exactly where she is supposed to go to relieve herself, the carpet had gotten bad. Okay, honestly, it was disgusting and I did not want anyone to come to our house because I was embarrassed by it. I know, I know, it doesn’t matter, people love you, they aren’t coming to judge you on your carpet, blah, blah, blah. I had heard it all, but I just knew that people would walk in the door and think horrible things about me due to our carpet. A woman and her home are connected in a visceral, love me, love our home.

But anyway….. (no I can never tell a short story, deal with it.)

So, I wanted to get some girlfriends together to talk about a book, “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” but I didn’t want to have it at our house. But God had other ideas. I kept getting this heaviness on my heart, nudging me, to open our home to my girlfriends. I finally woke up one morning about 3:00 a.m. and sat down in the living room, amidst the gross carpet, and just cried my eyes out and told God that yes, I would be obedient to what He had placed on my heart, but I did ask Him one thing. I said, “God, can I please have new carpet.”

Now, when I asked this I was being totally 100% real with my heavenly Father. I know there are so many other things in this world that are really huge obstacles, pain, and frustrations that people have and they cry out to God and I believe that God always answers, just perhaps not like what we thought. And as selfish and self-absorbed as I felt asking God for new carpet, I knew there was no way we could afford it but I also knew that I would have an extremely difficult time concentrating on my friends if I was worried about our home.

Well, anyway, I was obedient to God’s leading and I opened up our home, nasty carpet and all, and then, one evening, I noticed our kitchen floor was wonky (I love that word). I asked WH about it and he investigated and low and behold, there was a leak and not just any leak, but a major leak behind the refrigerator that had leaked into the dry wall and under the floor. The kitchen floor, which was the ONLY floor in the house that was in great shape. (Irony? ya think?) I admit I wondered if perhaps God had gotten my request mixed up with someone else.

We contacted a contractor, who came out and took a look. He then informed us that we would need to replace THE ENTIRE KITCHEN FLOOR. I thought I would faint right there.

But then…

He walked into our living room, and he pulled back the carpet, and low and behold, the flooring was ruined there too, and the carpet would have to be replaced.

I just started laughing and shook my head and said, “Thank you God.” Because it mattered to me, so it mattered to Him. He loves me.

So now we have a new kitchen floor, new carpet in our home, and I’m about to get new paint. It’s only taken 8 years. I’m still decorating challenged so I’m taping those same girlfriends that were coming over to have coffee to come with paintbrushes and laughter and our house will finally be a place that I want to call a home and a place that reminds me every day, with every step I take on our new carpet, how much God loves me.

Fasting for a reason.

As you have read previously (on "One Life To Live"), sorry couldn’t help it), we will be starting a fast on Sunday for 21 days. There are a lot of churches that are starting out the New Year and the new decade fasting.

If you are here from Martha’s blog at http://www.marthafry.org/ welcome! Martha, my pastor’s wife, has put together some great tools to help our church face the fast with less fear and trepidation but with more excitement and equipped to succeed.

I wrote a book review for her blog on Jentenzen Franklin’s book, “fasting” and it really has changed my entire perspective.

Last night at church Pastor Matt (go to his website here, http://www.mattfry.com/ , they are a bit competitive) spoke on how he was so excited about the upcoming fast and I can honestly say he is not the only one. There is a feeling of excitement bubbling in my soul. An apprehension, a holy fear almost about what is to come. Yes, I am nervous, yes, I want to make it to the 31st but more then that I just cannot wait to see what is going to happen in my life, with my family, and in my church during and as a result of this fast.

Last time we fasted I did it because the church did it. If you have read some of the blog entries and reviews on Martha’s blog you will see that I wasn’t alone in this. The church said fast, so I fasted. I didn’t understand the purpose for it and I didn’t understand the mechanics of it. It would be like giving my DD (darling daughter), who is 13-years-old, a brand new car. It is a great tool, will enable her to do things and give her freedom, but there is one problem, she doesn’t know how to drive and so the car would just sit in the driveway. She will have to become old enough (mature), be taught how to drive (given instruction) and then guided onto the road with someone beside her (support) to help until she is fully capable.

That’s what the book on fasting did for me. That is what Martha and the rest of us are working towards with the blog entries and the meal plans, etc. It is to come alongside and instruct and support and yes, there is a certainly maturity in your walk with Christ that is needed for fasting, but you also grow exponentially when you fast.

The other matter that has been weighing on my heart is that there can be many things to fast. Our church is doing the Daniels fast, which is no meat, no bread, and no sweets and I really recommend that you try it. The food is good and the recipes are fun, and if you follow Martha’s meal plan I think it would be cool to know that we are all eating the same thing together every night (is that weird??).

But you can fast other things as well, no television, no computer, no video games, there is even a financial fast as well, no buying ANYTHING not a necessity, I think we might be looking at that as well.

If you want to keep it in the realm of food, then fast no cokes (in the south that means no soft drinks, everything is “coke” and then you specify if you want Mt. Dew, Pepsi, or an actual Coca-Cola), or you can fast no sugar, no meat, no chocolate, etc. But the important thing is that you fast something that will be an impact on your daily life because when you are craving, wanting, desiring that, you go to God instead of the fridge, the pantry, or the drive-thru. 

I enjoy my coffee (ok, huge understatement), I enjoy my chocolate, I enjoy my toast and my steak and ice cream and my sushi but by setting these things aside for the next 21 days, when I get up in the morning and my body wants coffee, I will pray. When I am dragging and want that caffeine kick I will pray. When the afternoon rolls around and I REALLY want a snack, I can have one, (fruits and veggies) but I will be intentional about it and I will pray. After dinner, when I want that ice cream and cookies before bed, I will pray. When you talk with someone that much all day long, you cannot help but become closer. How God will rejoice when He sees His children willing to forego something good to have His best.

The second part of this equation though, is like I said before, know why you are fasting. I have written down very specific things that I am praying about. I’m not just doing it to do it. I want answers to questions about God’s plan:
1. for my life
2. for my writing.
3. for my sons and my daughter.
4. for my husband
5. for our marriage and for the marriages of friends.
6. for our finances
7. for our parents
8. for our friends
9. for our church
10. for our leaders in government
11. Other things

Yes, the list is pretty long. I have 21 days and I have a feeling there will be a lot of prayer time during that time (I told you guys I feel great affection for my coffee). The vital point to this is to take your doubts, fears, questions, needs and wants to God. Offer then up to Him to give you guidance and direction. When you get in the dumps during the fast (and it will happen) go to your list and focus on something/someone there and the hunger will fade, the temptation will abate and you will have won that battle. I’m sure we will be talking a lot more about the fast in the coming days.

Leave a comment if you have fasted before and have any suggestions for me. Cannot wait to see what God is going to do! Have a wonderful blessed Thursday my friends!

Just an update

I know it's been a couple of days, 3 in fact, since I've posted last.  Things here in the France household have been a bit crazy but I got some great blog material so tune back in later, (if you sign up to follow the blog it will let you know automatically when I update by the way.) 

Future topics include:

1. Be careful what you pray for, you might just get it.
2. Exactly how much junk is cluttering up our lives?
3. God, I love you more then chicken.
4. Fueling up to (or too?) fast.
5. Could Daniel have made it if he had had to compete with boberry biscuits, a Big Mac, or a Frosty?

And many more.  (I sound like one of those greatest hit albums.)

We are preparing to begin a Daniel's fast (will explain what that is soon too) on January 10th and I have been reading a book called "fasting" by Jentezen Franklin.  Check it out



I'll be back soon and let you guys in on what's been going on here. 

It's Not About Me.

This morning I got up anxious to spend some time with God.   I was excited about what my time was going to reveal to me this morning but not for the reasons that I am proud of.  I realized that I was getting more excited about writing my blog and having people be impressed by me then giving my time to God, being honest with Him (which is silly, He already knows my heart, might as well be real, you get to spend more quality time with Him if you aren’t dancing around your intentions.)

After attempting to do a Proverb a day, which was amazing and I learned so much, but was frustrating because I couldn’t “keep up” with what I was supposed to do. (Good grief, how silly are we??)  Does it make sense to rush through and miss a gift from God because I need to stay on schedule then spend two days, two weeks, or two months on a verse that keeps feeding my soul, just cause I think I have to “keep up”…Keep up with WHO???  This is MY journey with God, my walk with the Father.  Yes I have friends around me, I have fellow Christians on their own journey but their walk will not look like mine, their experiences won’t be like mine, and God might speak something completely different into their lives then He does into mine.  So why on earth am I looking around me when I just need to be looking at Him? 

So...after all of this stewing in my head yesterday and today, I got up this morning, got my coffee and started with prayer. I could not get beyond the prayer.  How do I do it, what do I say, is there a right way, a wrong way?  I started three different times and all three times felt wrong.  So I just asked, “God help me.”  And then I went to the Word and to Matthew 6: 9-13.  The Lord’s Prayer and I took each line and really read it.

Our Father in heaven

Hallowed be your name,

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread

Forgive us our debts,

As we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

 then I changed the “ours” to “my” and the “us” to “me” and I made The Lord’s Prayer mine this morning. 

My Father in heaven

Hallowed be Your name,

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give me today my daily bread

Forgive me my debts,

As I also have forgiven my debtors. 

And lead me not into temptation,

but deliver me from the evil one.

To claim something, to make it yours.  I cannot get into heaven or have a relationship on my parent’s faith, just like my daughter cannot get into heaven or know her heavenly Father because of my faith, she has to develop that relationship.  A relationship comes from knowing how to communicate.  Jesus equipped each of us with how we should pray and even how to check our hearts and check our intentions in the relationship we have with God.

I came to terms this morning with the fact that I need to constantly check my heart.  My desire is to be real and honest with my readers about my life, but more then that I want to be real and honest with God about it.  So I asked myself some hard questions this morning.

“Am I writing for God or am I writing for the attention, it just happens to be about God.” 

 I am human (surprise, surprise).  Attention is great.  We all desire attention but I know that my purpose is more than for attention.  I ache for those who are like me and lost and hurting.  I just want to stand here with a big sign with an arrow on it pointing to heaven but I know it works better if truth and honesty come out, so yes, I am writing FOR God and not just about Him.  I know this because I am very intentional that no matter what the story is, no matter the experience, I don’t want the focus to be on what I did, right or wrong, or what happened to me, good or bad, but by pointing out where God was, what God did, and how only with God was I ever able to do the next thing.  But it is good to check my motives and to have people in my life that will help me stay accountable.

“Does God come first or do I?”

 Sometimes it’s harder to put God first, hard to let Him lead, but I know if I just hold on and don’t let go, God’s kingdom will come and His Will will be done.  I see over and over again that putting God first clears the path. 

Think about being a child in a crowded store.  You are about six years old; too old to be carried but you still have to hold hands.  There isn’t enough room to walk side by side. There are too many people and you cannot see over their heads.  What do you do?  You take your father’s hand and you walk behind him.  He clears the path, he knows where he is going, and you just hold on. It works the same way with God, but we must stop letting go and trying to do it ourselves, because then we just get lost in the crowd.

“Are speaking and writing my calling God?” 

Yes, yes, yes.  A calling is something that you are passionate about and would do all day, every day without getting paid.  Would I write if no one read it, Yes!   Would I speak if no one listened? Yes!  Would I blog if no one stopped by?  Yes!  Because I’m not doing it for me, I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for Him and obeying what He has placed in my heart.  What He chooses to do with it is 100% up to Him.  

Check your motives, that means, “Would you still do _______ (whatever God has placed on your heart) if no one would ever know you did it?

Hard questions that take some time to process but answer them honestly, don’t dance around them with God, He already knows. 

I closed out my time this morning with God thanking Him for showing up.  I felt in my heart He said, “I am always here.” 

I said “God I just want to make you famous.” And I don’t mean to sound silly, but I felt I heard Him laugh, and say, “Sweetheart, I’m already famous, but you can help make me real.”  I battled with that, how do you make God real?  You do it the same way it was done for me, by honesty, by truth, and by pointing others to Him for every single thing and helping each person find their way to His hand.  I can do it by speaking about how my life has changed because of God and it all starts with a simple prayer, “My Father, who is in Heaven…”

Great Expectations

My WH and I had a great conversation a few nights ago.  We were talking about DD’s birthday, God, my upcoming surgery, God, our home, God, my speaking and ministry, God, do you see a theme here?

I posed the question to WH, “Do you think God is ever disappointed in us, like a father when his child doesn’t do as he wishes?”  And my WH, he truly is wonderful but I think the “W” could also stand for wise, stated,

“No, God doesn’t get disappointed because He already knows all that is going to happen, God has no expectations, therefore He cannot be disappointed.” 

To say that I was gobsmacked is an understatement.  (Don’t you love that word?).  How much of my life revolves around my expectations and meeting other’s expectations?

I have expectations of my husband, my daughter, my family, my God’s Girls (bible study group), my friends, my church leaders, my work, and even strangers that I meet.   When those expectations are not met, it sets up a series of events where disappointment, frustration, and anger can move in.   And how many times do these problems occur because the other parties were unaware of your expectations?  I cannot count the times I have gotten upset with WH because he didn’t do something that I expected but never thought to relay to him.  He loves me enough to be able to read my mind, right?  He should just know what I need…(yeah, doesn’t work friends, stop it and just ask for what you need/want, our husbands really appreciate that.)

But God…

God only requires one thing from each of us. 

ONE THING. 

For us to live our life every single day for His glory. 

Mark 12:28-30 (New International Version)

The Greatest Commandment

 ²⁸One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" ²⁹"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.^[a] 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'^[b]

That’s it?   Yep, that’s it…Wow, think about all that encompasses though. 

And what about our expectations of God? 

1. Do you expect God to give you everything you want? 
2. Do you expect Him to make your life easy? 
3. Do you expect Him to pour His blessings down on you just because you say you believe in Him? 

And what happens when we do get sick, or we lose our job, or someone dies, or someone hurts our feelings, is that’s God’s fault because He didn’t met our expectations?  

I’m learning that my heavenly Father only wants me to have one expectation and it is truly a great one.  

That He will always love me.  No matter what came before or what is in the future because that is what He promises to each and every one of us.  NO MATTER WHAT.

I am to live every day for His glory and to accept every day that God loves me. 

Two very brief statements that require an entire lifestyle change, a thought process shift, and 100% trust. 

How does a life look that is living for His glory?  Look at how Jesus lived for understanding and the perfect example.

How do you accept that God loves you?  By finally opening the door in your heart that he has been knocking on.  You know that nudge that you have been feeling is not imagined or make-believe.  It is real, it is Him, and it’s time to stop looking at everything else and having great expectations of man to fill up that empty spot in your heart because only God can fill it. 

You accept it by saying,

Dear Jesus,

I realized that I’ve sinned and I need you. Please forgive me. Thank you for
dying on the cross and for rising from the dead. Come into my heart and save
me. Thank you for giving me eternal and abundant life. Help me to live for
you the rest of my life.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

If you have just prayed this prayer for the first time, let me know.  You can send me an email at Leigh at leighfrance dot com.   Also, tell someone you know personally: a Christian friend, co-worker, or neighbor. This will be as exciting for them as it is for you.