Lonely

Have you ever had a time when you thought you were going to go in one direction but you wound up going somewhere completely different? Sometimes due to your own decisions and sometimes due to circumstances totally beyond your control? Really, you have? Cool, I’m not all by myself. Sometimes I sure do feel that way though.

I’m not writing about Ephesians today. We will come back to the armor of God because I truly think it is important, but I don’t have all of it together and God is just placing so much more on my heart that I need to talk to you about.

I want to talk to you about being lonely. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I think Satan loves to see God’s children lonely because then they can become vulnerable and weak. From the beginning of time God knew that it was not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve. Now God was with Adam in the garden, talking with Adam, hanging out, but He knew, in all His infinite wisdom, that man needed someone on his level, a helper. (Genesis 2:18)

Time passed, families were created, the parents looked after the children, the children grew up, they lived together or next door to each other, the older ones took care of the younger ones, the elderly were honored and respected and provided for. They worked together, they ate together, they lived together, and they prayed together.

Growing up my brother and I would see at least one set of our grandparents, and more then likely we would see both. Weekends were spent seeing family, connecting, helping each other, and just being there. I spent Sunday afternoons playing with my cousins in the yard, being a Charlie’s Angel, or getting scared of Big Foot footprints (AUNT ROSAAAAAA!!!!!), or just lying on our backs under the big trees in Grandma’s front yard or playing with the buttons in her button box. 

Every Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter it was expected that you would get together. It was important, it was a priority. Yes, the holidays were hectic and yes it was exhausting but there were memories being made and laughter being shared, and stories being passed down from generation to generation and roots were growing deeper and intertwining, making lives stronger, richer, and more.

Now my grandmothers are both gone and our families are all distant. Even my relatives that are close by I only see occasionally. My daughter is growing up in a different environment. Her father is hours away and only gets to see her sporadically. She sees his side of the family maybe once a year. And my side of the family over time things have been said, feelings have been hurt, and lives have gotten busy, too busy and every holiday season seems to become more of a hassle, everyone in more of a hurry to come and go, and I can’t help but be sad because I miss it.  I miss my grandmothers, I miss my aunts and uncles and cousins, and I miss the connections that we had.

It’s not good for man to be alone and I believe that even though you might not get along with everyone in your family, God put you in that family for a reason, because they need you and you need them. 

So, Uncle Larry, Aunt Sylvia, Uncle Rodney, Aunt Caroline, Uncle Andy and Aunt Pat, and Granddaddy Ben, Uncle Ray and Aunt Rosa, Uncle Corbett and Aunt Debbie, and to all of my cousins, their spouses and children, know that you are loved, you are thought of and the memories that you have given me I treasure in my heart. And know that you are missed very, very much. 

To Grandmamma Williams and Grandmamma Johnson, I miss you both so much. What I wouldn’t give for a sermon and a song.

Granddaddy Williams, I miss the blueberries and walking to Jack Rabbits. I cannot eat a blueberry and not think of you. I eat blueberries almost every day.

I love you.

Leigh